Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Why do I find myself..

..with nothing good to say, again?  :p

When parents have kids, do they expect Jesus Christ to be the 1 to host their Baptism?

Why don't I talk about something else?  Whatever this is tied to, it's a real thing.  It's a broad topic.  It has recurring evidence.

I realize that Baby Boomers have grown older and now Generation X must cater to Generation Z.  What about Generation Y?  That's something everyone's lookin' to know.

I wouldn't go batshitcrazy over someone just for being young, but I would care for their needs if that were the position I was in.  I think anyone could experience being told they are an invalid in SOME way, even white people before and obviously today in the eyes of their runtkids.

I used to feel more popular.  Now, here in Orlando but also online, people are mean to me.  If someone else made a mistake, that doesn't mean you can take from what I've earned.

I was thinking of forgetting about my hair being long and dark to save myself in the long run.  I wanted it to be special, but it's just not honestly worth the risk, though I'n still doing it if maybe just for myself.  Well, if I don't give in to worthlessness and worthfulness, I will probably try without bangs.  It'll probably be nice in a couple months.  If I for some weird reason wanna dye my hair, the bangs need to be long enough to comb to the side.

What about the happy things?  Nothing anyone cares about.  I just made ham stew with cabbage, carrots, and potatos.

This morning, I did jog for about an hour.  Did you work out recently?  I think you did.  I came back, and it was time for grocery shopping.  I get my core in at the gym, usually.

I will write another story.

This is important, too, though, a find.  We need to take care of the younger kids since the Baby Boomers have become elderly.  It's time to be there for them.  I'd like to change my hair to be more like an adult, in a way, but at least I have a secret reason to get it longer and curly.  I don't know if that reason exists, per se.  It's rather funny.

Back.

I was just thinking how cool the Disney World Main Street Electrical Parade is.  Too bad I can't be Tinkerbell in it.

So, I've applied to Tulane or am in the process, rather, to study music, singing.  It's in New Orleans next to my old college, which had a good music program.  Tulane is more for older students, has a graduate school.  I might get a music scholarship.  If I go, I think I will wear black tights, black socks, black boots, a black shirt of some kind, and a black blazer.

I was thinking if I joked about wearing my hair like a female version of Josh Groban, it wouldn't mean anything at least to him.  I dunno.  I was serious about maybe I don't want my hair like that in the long run.  I mean, it's okay.  What if it's being weird?

Also, 3 more years of my life for college.. seems like a lot of extra time.  It might be best for my future, like reforming.  I feel I just wait at home, say hello and goodbye, and that's it.  I have dreams to change the world, mostly as a performer but some as a producer|business.  To direct, you need talent would be nice..but I guess it's about directing and not you acting.  I mean, I have a hard time with food and everything.  I hope I can go to college in the Spring and transfer to Tulane in the Fall.  I might even go in the Summer.

I need to make some candy, hungry..  I just had my supper and went for a walk.

I used to wanna be a film actress.  It seems the singing is a good thing, though.  I mean, what do you think when you see a musical with dancing or singing of sorts?  It seems a little weird.  I could do concerts and ask if I can put them on my YouTube or site..  There are some good classics made probably with popular Broadway performers.

So, I need to find some way to sweep up my room, can even use a storage room.  I just feel I need a break.  I have a whole semester.  I could even take voice in between.  I can postpone the tour, like for next summer.  My last teacher didn't provide me with classical literature.

What about my hair?  Am I doing it for no reason for myself?  I wish I had my new contacts.  I don't like wearing the blue 1s without my hair dyed.  I need new shampoo soon.  I juts don't know, might do some shopping online and then make the candy.

I am happy to have Bella Thorne in my life, too.  I don't understand, though, why anyone would use others as a punishment.  I mean, it's not gonna happen.  If that's the way things feel like, then I'd probably .. like lose some of the level of my past interest, which was probably over 100%.  I know other people do that, too, or at least 1 person.  I like it, but I feel that also people are giving me cutting messages.  I keep getting interrupted and think these people bothering me made me uglier.  I might not watch Ellen.  I am tired of these suggestive and nasty messages.  They are not good for me.  I need to get out or something and not have people on my tail.  I'll have to stop seeing the therapist when I go to school cuz it takes too much time.  I take a van there.  I have to wait 30 or more minutes.  I'll probably go to Disney this semester.  Maybe, I can sing and exercise some.  It's not nice not having an active social|physical life.